Dearest friends, recently, we have seen a brand of Responsible Parenthood that encourages very few children in marriages (even as few as 1 or 2 children); especially among some tribes in the country. My question is: Is that really the holistic understanding of RESPONSIBLE PARENTHOOD?
Well, I would beg you to try and read to the end of this post. I will try my best to compress the presentation. You are also free to ask your question at the end.
Let me simply present my points from two perspectives, namely: the Society and the Church.
Among the Igbos, for example, it is generally believed that ‘NWA-BỤ-AKỤ’ (Child is Wealth). So, the number of children you are able to beget determines the amount of wealth you possess. This understanding has a RECIPROCAL undertone. The above understanding is captured in this their song: ‘Ma ọ bụghị ma NWA, onye ga enye m?…’ which is loosely translated as ‘If not my child, who else would give me (wrapper, etc.🙂)?’ Indeed, it is only one’s child that would really give one the best of things. Thus, the Scripture affirms:
CHILDREN are a GIFT from the Lord; they are a real BLESSING. The sons a man has when he is young are like arrows in a soldier’s hand. HAPPY is the man who has many such arrows… (Cf. Ps 127:3-5)
Now, with the dangerous trend of the ‘blind imitation of some foreign lifestyle’, many of our people are abandoning the above understanding and then embracing what is now the status quo among the white people (also know that that was not so among them before, they only adopted the idea of 1 or 2 children in time. You can also make your research). Unfortunately, unlike the western world, where there are perfect arrangements for old people, there are no such arrangements here, except the ones that will come from one’s children. In fact, let me ask you, my dearest reader, what are the arrangements for you when you become old if not the ones that will be made by the number of children you are able to beget and also TRAIN? Indeed, it is WISER to cast your eggs in MORE baskets than in 1 or 2. Remember also that life is full of uncertainties. Those who intentionally gave birth only to 1 or 2 are always afraid. They don’t want anything to happen to them. What about if something happens to them? Please, if you have not GENUINE Economic or Health limitations, kindly give birth to more than 1 or 2, for your own good and the good of the human society🙏🏼
Now, from the perspective of the CHURCH, what is currently happening is a wrong understanding of the Church’s teaching on Responsible Parenthood.
Instead of begetting very few children, the Church teaches that couples are ‘OBLIGED to be CHARITABLE in giving the world FRUITS’ (i.e, bearing children) (Cf. Optatam Totius, n. 16). The above position of the Church could only be appreciated when we remember that ‘the family is the basic unit of the society and also the domestic Church.’ So, without being charitable in bringing forth fruits (children), how can the society and the Church survive? Who would take up positions in the society and in the Church? The western world is already suffering the effects of such uncalculated leap.
👉🏼Finally, dearest friends, the Church is not saying that each couple should beget hundreds and thousands of children. Instead, she is simply teaching that, all things being equal (i.e in the absence of GENUINE economic or health challenge), couples should be CHARITABLE and not SELFISH in carrying out their Divine Duty of “Be Fruitful and Multiply” (Cf. Gen 1:28).
We pray the Blessed Virgin Mary to always support us in our daily efforts towards obeying the Will of God. Amen.
Remain blessed🙏🏼
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